From time to time, I add chia seeds to my food.

Yes, the seeds from those clay novelty items sometimes referred to as “Chia Pets”.

No, I don’t buy the novelty items. I buy the seeds. You can get them from many sources. I get mine from Puritan’s Pride and I only get their brand. I got another brand once and I got chia seeds and grit. Not grits, grit. Like what we used to have on the bottom of our parakeet’s cage.

Grit and chia seeds look a lot alike.

I like chia seeds because they have no taste to speak of (much like me), are loaded with Omega-3 fatty acids, and they are a great source of fiber.

Fiber, as you should know, aids in elimination. In Fat-Old-Lady-Speak: It helps you shit.

Chia seeds are the scrubbing bubbles of the fiber kingdom.

They race through your colon scrubbing everything loose and sending it on its merry way.

Also, do not ingest chia seeds if you are going to be out and about someplace where a restroom is not going to be readily available, or if you are poop-shy in public restrooms.

Seriously. Just don’t.

Really, chia seeds ought to come with a big red warning label.

THIS WILL MAKE YOU SHIT!

Also, Chia seeds in, chia seeds out. Just saying.