THEY DON’T KNOW THIS FAT OLD LADY

We are all bombarded with the message that everything we do on the internet is tracked and used so that we can be targeted for products that will meet our specific needs.

I can live with that.

I am sure there are many products of which I am totally unaware that could make my life happier, smarter, better looking, and more fragrant. I’m a shopper. I am an online shopper. Come on show me what you got.

So if the internet knows me so well, how come the internet does not know:

I am a woman and not in need of a product that will enlarge the penis I don’t have.

I am happily married and not interested in being “hooked up” with single men (or women) in my area; I don’t care if horny housewives are just waiting for my call; and I really don’t want Joe Bob (whoever he is when he’s at home) to satisfy me over and over.

I am into size acceptance and not interested in the latest diet anything; and if you want me to buy your clothes, undies, pantyhose you better be selling a size that will fit me.

I don’t smoke. I don’t have kids. I don’t drink.

I don’t have an iPhone, or a Mac, or any other Apple product. And I don’t believe anyone is giving these away for free.

None of my friends are currently traveling in Scotland, where they were mugged and are now stranded in need of immediate funds that only I can provide.

And that’s just a smattering of what’s in my Spam folder today.

So when people warn me about how if I do anything on the internet, my information will be taken; I don’t worry too much because:

(a) I assume anything I do on the internet is public; and
(b) As far as I can tell, whoever is doing all this tracking is doing a piss poor job. If they ever get good at it – I’ll be surprised. Very, very surprised.

 

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One thought on “THEY DON’T KNOW THIS FAT OLD LADY

  1. “As far as I can tell, whoever is doing all this tracking is doing a piss poor job.”

    Ha! You made me laugh. Do you realize that with the NSA spying on us, that means that half our national security consists of cat pictures?

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