I sing.  In fact, I’m a pretty good singer.  For awhile I made my living singing, and I got that gig from singing.

However, the only instrument I have ever mastered is the French Horn.

It is not possible to accompany yourself singing with the French Horn.

I tried piano.  However, at the best of times, I am rhythmically challenged, and to do two different things with my hands at the same time is simply beyond me.  (I am pretty sure my piano teacher threw himself a party the day I quit.)

I tried guitar.  A little better, but to save my soul I cannot bar (that is holding down multiple strings with one finger).  I have strong fingers (I type for a living), but they are chubby little fuckers and I think they simply do not have the firmness to bar.

What’s a fat old lady to do?

The fat old lady got herself a ukulele!

I LOVE MY UKULELE.

There are only 4 strings to deal with (instead of 6 on a guitar), and while my barring is admittedly pathetic, I can mostly get by.  I can practice it pretty much anyplace, and, unlike the French Horn, I don’t end up irritating the cats and our neighbors.

So I am now a fat old ukulele lady; I finally have an instrument that I can play while I sing.