Remember when I used to love Prednisone? 

Well, that was before I found out what big doses over a couple of months can do to you.

Let’s see, side effects include:  Blurry and double vision, sores in mouth and sore tongue, huge blood glucose swings (350+ to 40 DAILY!!!).  runny nose (after eating and any exertion – I sniff like a cocaine addict from the 80s), eye twitching, burning eyes, mouth twitching and drooling (just as attractive as that sounds), HOT FLASHES – lots and lots and lots of hot flashes (!!! I’m fucking 70 years old – the time for hot flashes should be long behind me), and my swollen, swollen face – affectionately (?) referred to as “moon face”.  (Look it up, it’s a thing.)

And you can’t just stop prednisone.  You have to slowly reduce it or you can get “adrenal insufficiency”.  No I don’t know what that is.  I looked it up, and promptly forgot about it because I have no intention of having it.  After 7 weeks, I am now down to 10 mg of prednisone daily (down from 60); and I still have to get down to 5 mg daily for a week before I can stop it altogether.

Ugh.

And my face is still swollen up like a poisoned pig.

Not that I didn’t already have a fat face, but I know my face is not it’s usual level of fat because at least half the time, using facial recognition my iPhone says, “Who dat?”  Enter your passcode.

If your own iPhone doesn’t recognize you, you know there’s a problem.