I know I’m a fat old lady; but now I feel like I am officially a fat OLD lady.
I have an old people injury on my arm.
You know what an old people injury is.
It’s that bruise-y, ripped skin-y injury that you can’t quite figure out how it happened; and old people tend to have them on any body part where their dry fragile old people skin has come in contact with the world.
And how did I come by my old people injury, you ask?
You know how your sweater (or jacket or shirt) sometimes catches on the handle of a door and it pulls you up short?
And you know how screen door handles are kind of sharp edged (as compared to door knobs and lever handles) so they play hell with sweaters (or jackets or shirts) when you get caught on one?
Well, I was putting something out for pickup in our mailbox and I hooked on the screen door handle.
Only it wasn’t my sweater or jacket or shirt.
It was my arm.
And off came a few chunks of my dry fragile fat old lady skin.
I even know how dangerous screen door handles are. My mom once caught her wedding ring in one and ripped most of the skin off of her finger.
So I have no excuse.
Just a fat old lady arm with an old people injury.