As theaters are starting to consider opening up again …

If you are in rehearsals and you think you may be sick or “coming down with something” – STAY THE FUCK AT HOME.

Nobody is going to be happy with you if you bring the creeping crud into the cast. 

Yes, it’s a hassle to work around a missing cast member, but it’s more of a hassle to try to work around a bunch of missing sick cast members or trying to perform when you feel like shit on a stick.

And I know, sometimes you HAVE to be there.  A lot of times there are no understudies. 

On the other hand, if you got hit by a bus – the show would still go on without you. 

Just saying.

But when you absolutely HAVE to be there, STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM EVERYONE. 

And for those non-ill cast members – STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE SICK PERSON.

Don’t go up to them and give them a hug to make them feel better.  Don’t sit next to them and commiserate.  Get a big ass bottle of hand sanitizer and USE IT and KEEP YOUR FUCKING DISTANCE! 

It may sound mean and heartless.  I don’t care.

The sick person needs to be concentrating on their own self; just like you need to be concentrating on your own self.  The sick person will (or should – and if they can’t figure that out – they got more problems than having the creeping crud) understand where your priorities need to be. 

Just because we are (hopefully) all getting vaccinated and starting to come out of this pandemic doesn’t mean there isn’t plenty of creeping cruds of all sorts waiting to be passed around.  Let’s take some of what we learned in the past year and use it!

Remember the theater is a place of many and varied flying bodily fluids.