THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ME MONDAY – I GOT QUESTIONS

Can you sharpen nail clippers?  Or should you just toss them and buy new ones?

Is it worth it to invest in some expensive ones – or just get a bunch of cheapos and toss them as they wear out?

Now that I no longer bite my nails (thank you Gabapenten – better living through chemistry) I need to keep clipping them and the clippers I have are getting to be no better than gnawing the nail off.

Of course, it probably doesn’t help that I also clip the cats’ claws with the same clippers.

And who knew nail clippers could actually wear out?

I usually lose mine long before they start to get dull.

I think nail clippers exist in the same place as that other sock from the laundry, the spoons that disappear (although, I still believe that spoons are simply immature forks and that is why you are always running out of spoons but have an abundance of forks), the other earring you can never find – even though you know you put them away together, etc.  They are just one of the multi-dimensional items that we keep in the house that comes and goes based upon whether or not you actually need it.

I have a feeling when we (finally) retire to Michigan and we empty this house, there will suddenly be mounds of socks, cat toys, spoons, nail clippers, etc.

Maybe they won’t appear until we actually leave though – the new owners will simply be left wondering why the fuck did the previous owners leave all this useless stuff behind?

Or they’ll simply appear in the bottom of our packing boxes when we unpack.

Meanwhile – what do I do with these fucking nails that insist on continuing to grow out?

I mean, besides the fact that I type for a living, at some point, you’re going to want to wipe your ass!
nails

 

 

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