In the best of times, I’m not a fan of grocery shopping – and these are definitely NOT the best of times.

No matter what I’m getting, it takes an hour in the store.

And then, I have to unload the car (usually with my husband’s help); and then put it all away.

I consider it my weekly workout.

I don’t fuck around in the store.

I figure out the recipes I want to make for the week.

I make a list.

I buy what’s on the fucking list.

Yes, I also buy some other – easy dinner things for when I just cannot face cooking.

But that is it.

Now with COVID-19, I consider my trip to the grocery store as my weekly “dance with death”.

Because I am not only a fat OLD lady, I have at least one other risk factor.

I go at 6 fucking a.m. on either Tuesday or Thursday.

I put on yesterday’s clothes (lovely, but if you are close enough to be offended by my dirty clothes – you are too fucking close!).

This time for shopping is supposed to be for seniors and other at-risk people.

Sure seem to be a lot of non-senior “at-risk” people shopping then.

I know that risks and disabilities are not always visible, so I actually do try to not be too judgy.

I know, I’m a fucking saint that way.

I really am grateful and thankful for all the people that do a daily dance with death just so I can do my grocery shopping.

Thank you, from the bottom of this Fat Old Lady’s fat old heart.

No, I don’t wipe down the groceries when I get them home.

I know.

It’s barely 7 a.m. and I still have to put the groceries away, strip down, throw the (now contaminated) clothing in the laundry and take a shower to wash off all the COVID cooties.

Besides, I don’t have any wipes to use and if you know where to find any – I’m impressed.

I only have the mental fortitude for so much.

And I am at my max right now.

I know I am not the only one, but I am the one that is my problem.

I hope y’all are staying safe out there; and hanging in the best you can.

That’s all any of us can do at any given time – the best we can.