Holidays are often difficult for fat folks.

Not only do they have to deal with all the usual pitfalls of time spent with family, they have to deal with them in a food-centric atmosphere.

They sometimes have to deal with family or friends who feel it is appropriate to comment on the food the fat person is or is not consuming.

They may have to deal with diet talk – aimed at themselves or from people who are dieting – or know someone who is dieting – and don’t they look wonderful … (sigh).

They have to deal with people who describe themselves or others as “fat” and in a way that shows just how awful they think fatness is.

And many of the people in attendance are talking about how much they are going to eat or have eaten, and how “bad” they are for eating so much.

Isn’t it funny how everyone is so grateful for feast set before them, and then all they do is complain about how much food they actually ate and how it makes them feel.

Growing up, I was so lucky to not have those kinds of experiences at holidays.

I mean, yes, we all talked about how “stuffed” we were after the unusually large meal.

But I never felt judged.

Holiday meals were probably some of my best times because with all the family gathered, I knew my stepfather had to pretend to be a human being.

So those gatherings felt safe, and I felt protected and loved.

And that is what gatherings of family and friends should feel like.

I hope that is what you all got to experience.

And if it wasn’t like that, I hope that you will find ways to protect and love yourself.

Because you deserve that love and protection.

Happy (day after) Thanksgiving.