Leo is our brown tabby.  We have had him since he was a kitten and we adopted him from Town Cats.

Today, I wonder if they want him back.

Like many cats, he has a fascination with places he is not allowed to go.

Like the garage.

He has made it a game of trying to get into the garage for many years.

But a hiss, NO, or a gentle kick with the foot has been enough to deter him.

Until now.

Recently, he has gotten out to the garage twice.

And although all he does is stand there at the door (on the garage side), he thinks being there is the tits.

He just stands there and lets you pick him up and carry him back into the house.

I fail to see the attraction.

So every morning, I take my shower and then go to the bedroom, pick up yesterday’s clothes, open the door to the garage, and toss the clothes into the laundry basket.

Note, I am stark naked.

If Leo is in the room, I have to be extra careful, as he’s a quick and crafty little asshole.

Today, Leo is nowhere in sight.

I open the door, go to toss the clothes, and see, out of the corner of my eye, a brown streak coming from the hallway, headed my way.

I stick out my foot just in time for asshole to run into it.

Unfortunately, I also jam the door knob into the bare naked right cheek of my butt.

FUCK THAT HURTS.

You know that deep burning pain when you really ram something into a soft part?

That kind of hurt.

The kind that brings tears to your eyes.

Knowing me, I probably won’t even get a bruise.

My rule of thumb is, the more it hurts the less likely you will be able to prove it even happened.

In case you’re worried, Leo is just fine for running headfirst into my foot.

And in case you’re worried about Leo – fuck you.

I’m the injured party here.