THIS FAT OLD LADY HAS BLUE EYES, DAMMIT.

bloodlinesBLUE DAMMIT!

My passport expired. They do that after ten years. So I get the application (available online), fill it out, go to CVS and get my picture took, write the check and send the whole thing (along with my expired passport) off to the State Department. My husband sent his in at the same time.

Fast forward a few weeks. My husband gets his new passport in the mail. I do not. WTF?

A few days later, I get a letter from the State Department asking me to send a new photo because “either your eyes were closed or your natural eye color cannot be determined”. WTF?

My eyes were not closed. I was wearing my glasses, but so was my husband in his photo and he got his passport.

My husband, however, is not a fat old lady. When he smiles, his eyes do not get all squinchy behind fat (may I say cherubic – okay, fat old lady) cheeks.

That’s what I get for trying to use a pleasant, smiling passport photo.

I went back to CVS.

You can now clearly see that my eyes are, indeed, blue.

I also get to spend the next 10 years with a passport photo that looks like I’m getting a digital rectal exam (the rubber glove kind, not a computer kind).

Thanks a butt load State Department.

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