You know what I feel like?  Do you know what the picture below represents?

Shit on a stick.

My dear husband picked up the new “super flu”, aka subclade k.  After almost 2 weeks, he is just getting better – inch by fucking inch.

A week ago, I came down with it.

The article I read said I should expect to be ill for about a week.

LIARS!!!!!! FUCKING, FUCKING LIARS!!!!!

This subclade k flu is an asshole.

Yes, I got my flu shot. 

No subclade k was not covered by this year’s flu shot. 

Besides puking and diarrhea, high temperatures, fever and chills (because, gee whiz, you don’t want one without the other – right?), general weakness, shortness of breath, chest pain, headache, inability to sleep, and snot galore (oooh, new stripper name?) the star of this show is

PHLEGMY COUGHING FITS.

Really phlegmy.  Really, really phlegmy.  And what feels like non-stop coughing. 

Move a teensy bit?  Coughing fit incoming.

Inhale too deeply?  Coughing fit ready for launch.

Just fucking laying there?  Aha!  Let coughing fit commence.

I’ve had to miss all my water aerobics.  Cancel a bunch of doctor and pt appointments.  Missed a family get together. 

And my poor husband.  He feels bad that he brought it into the house (though I suspect that is my fault – sending him to do stuff at the vets because I fucked up my schedule and that’s the only place I can think where he’d catch this).  He has been trying to take care of this fat old lady’s phlegm hacking ass, even though he is far from 100%. 

Avoid this one folks.  Get out the masks if you are heading out into unknown populace.  It is an asshole.

If you are looking for me prior to 2026, you most likely find me in the she-cave, in a recliner covered with all the blankies, with tissue boxes close at hand.

May you have a Happy New Year.