When I moved to Michigan, I had my doubts about dealing with Michigan winters.  I mean, I grew up here and I remember waiting for the school bus in below zero weather.  I remember lots of snow – lots and lots of snow.  (And of course we walked uphill everywhere – both ways.)

And we all just dealt with it.

My plan for dealing with Michigan winters was simple:  I will stay inside and bake cookies.

Seemed like a reasonable plan to me. 

However, the best laid plans, and all of that.

The first two winters here were no big deal.  We had snow, but not a lot of it.  We had cold weather – but nothing below zero (even with wind chill).

Where had all the Michigan winters gone I wondered?  Not that I was complaining, mind you.

I should have kept my fucking wondering to myself.

This year, we got ourselves a real Michigan winter. 

Ever hear of a polar vortex?  It’s when arctic (and I mean ARTIC) winds come down from the bitter bitter North and freeze the bejeezus out of everyone.  Temps well below zero (before wind chill).

And the snow …

As I just blogged, I performed at Creative 360 in Midland.  What I didn’t mention was when we came out from the second performance, everyone’s cars were covered with about 4-6 inches of snow.  And none of us were dressed for it – we had all either been performing or attending an evening’s entertainment.  I personally was wearing Croc flats on my feet.  Driving home was a real white-knuckle event too.  On (US Highway) 10 the speed limit is 75.  I took it at 35, and only a few hearty souls in their big-ass trucks (and one crazed person in a Mini Cooper) passed me.  For reasons unknown, the plows had not been out.  We crawled home – but we made it. 

This was not the first snow storm of winter, and we are looking at getting clobbered with two more storms this week. 

I’m just glad this didn’t happen our first winter back after living 46 years in California because I’m pretty sure my reaction would have been, “Oh hell no,” and we would have been headed back to California droughts, wild fires, earthquakes, and housing costs be damned. 

Oh, and this year, I have not baked any fucking cookies, because somehow my calendar is always full of other shit to do.  You’d think a 70-year old fat old lady would have a lot less demands on her time, but nooooo …. between doctor appointments, dentist appointments, vet appointments, hair appointments, errands, rehearsals, performances, etc., I’m busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

And now, almost three years in, I’m feeling my Michigan roots, dressing in layers (lots and lots of layers), nun walking (so I don’t end up on the ground waiting for someone to haul my fat old ass back up), and driving Michigan winter style (slow the fuck down and keep your foot off the damn brake). 

And right now, it looks like the first storm has arrived. Glad I’m inside, whether or not there are any cookies!

Remember sledding on the Veteran’s Bridge embankment?