Okay.  Y’all didn’t volunteer for this, but doing my blogging has just become a part of my therapy.  And sorry, but there is no pay involved for any of us. 

I have been really missing blogging.  In my opinion, everything that happens in my life, good or bad, is a story.  And what good are stories if they don’t get told? 

I used to write so much more.  Writing helps me put things in perspective.  And God (TIDBI) only knows, I can always use some perspective.

For instance – back in January, I was invited (!) to perform as part of Creative 360 (an art’s group in Midland) Broadway Flight program.  To say I was thrilled would be an understatement.  I want/need to make contacts with the local singing/performing community and this was a great opportunity for me. 

Broadway Flight is a program where the director chooses 4 shows, with or without a theme (this time the theme was shows about real people).  And then songs are assigned to the people they have asked to perform.  The shows are kept secret until the performance.  During the performance, the audience gets either 4 cups of different wine or 4 cups of different non-alcoholic drinks – the drinks being “paired” with the shows.  Oh, and you can bring your own food too.  It’s really a fun evening and they get a pretty good crowd.

Since it already happened, I can tell you, the shows were Sound of Music; Chaplin; Barnum; and Catch Me if You Can.  I was part of the Barnum group – performing as Joice Heth – a 160-year-old woman – because of course I was (and it worked perfectly with my bum knee).  I got to sing a great song “Thank God I’m Old” – right up my alley; Gay Nineties type song with some slightly salty lyrics.  Honey, I was in my element. 

They sent me the music to learn and there was one rehearsal with the band (piano, keyboard (also playing violin from time to time), drums and guitar).  I was also advised I could contact Jim Hohmeyer (he was the music director for Some Enchanted Evening) to rehearse with him – which I really, really wanted to do.

I was thrilled, but this whole thing sent my anxiety through the roof.  I am a firm believer of not performing new music without a LOT of rehearsal.  But that wasn’t an option here.  I entered the music into my computer, and recorded that music onto my phone and started practicing, practicing, practicing.  When I met with Jim, I realized I had done all my practicing sitting down (i.e., when I was driving in the car).  I know this is a bad idea.  The physical mechanics of singing are much different when standing – a singer needs to rehearse standing too. 

And of course, I now have a 70-year-old brain.  This fat old lady is not as sharp as she once was.  And this song is wordy.  Some of it fell into place, but the first verse – OMG – it just wouldn’t stick.  I tried some mnemonics which helped a little (as in not enough).  So I was sweating that I would go up on my lyrics right from the start.  So, since I was now rehearsing standing, this fat old lady gave herself movements that I could tie into the lyrics too.  Again, helped, but not sure fire. 

Argh.

I was so stressed because I really wanted to do a good job.  I didn’t want to ruin my reputation.

That’s when it hit me.

WHAT REPUTATION?

I’ve only been back 2 ½ years and I’ve done 2 shows. 

I told myself – FOR FUCK’S SAKE, GET OVER YOURSELF.

Not only was I not a known entity, but my (many, MANY) years of experience told me that my stinking up the place was not a likely outcome. Whether or not I would wow them, that was another matter.  But I (most likely) would not stink up the place; and that’s good enough – for now. 

And you know what?  I didn’t.  I fucking rocked both performances.

I had a young lady (Sarah) tell me she wanted to be me when she grows up.  Thank you Sarah, but I’m sure your parents would be just as happy if you didn’t live the life I’ve had to become the person I am today.

And I was approached about a possible, once-a-month, gig singing with a big band!  Gave the gentleman my phone number and I really hope this works out because that would be my dream singing gig. 

So that’s one part of my life.  Let’s hope that I get off my rusty dusty and start blogging on a regular basis again.  God (TIDBI) knows, I spend enough time at my computer just fucking around.  Why not put that time to some use, even if it just me babbling on?