I’ve been going to the Y(MCA) for Aquaflex classes (a stretching, strength building kind of class, but in the pool).  Three times a week, and hour for each class. 

Because of all this time in the water, I felt I needed some new bathing suits.

Now usually fat lady bathing suits are horrifically expensive.  Also, I need to get two piece suits because of the length of my torso.  If I try to wear a one-piece, my gentle bits are getting strangled.  And nobody wants strangled gentle bits.

However, I have recently discovered BloomChic.  I LOVE BloomChic.  Reasonably priced clothing that come in my size, and much of the clothing is fucking adorable and I need ALL of it! 

But, that’s another post.  BloomChic sells bathing suits of all types, including selling bottoms and tops separately.  AND they were having an end-of-summer sale!  JACKPOT!!!

So I got myself two new tops and two new bottoms (which I can then mix and match with my existing suit wardrobe being the savvy shopper that I am). 

They arrived and I love them both. 

So I wore the black bottoms for the first time on Wednesday.  I take a shower on Thursday. 

There’s this thing that clothing manufacturers sometimes put in the bottom of a swimsuit – like a panty liner, but no pad.  Just a sticky strip of plastic.  Really sticky. I mean Gorilla Glue sticky. So people could (feasibly) try on a suit and not get their kootchy cooties all over the crotch of the suit.  They usually do this with more form-fitting crotches than my bathing boy shorts. 

But surprise!

I’m washing my gentle bits and …. WTF IS THAT?

There is some kind of piece of paper or plastic or something down there.

So I grab the end and give it a firm tug.  A really firm tug.

You all know the principle of how using wax to remove hair works – right?

Well this suit-liner has folded over sticky-side down onto my gentle bits.  Really sticky sticky-side down.

TUG.  RIP. OWWWWWWWW!

I have not actually examined the results in a mirror, but I’m pretty sure I am now sporting a reverse landing strip down there.  Clear in the middle with a charming border on either side.

Maybe I’ll start a new trend with the geriatric crowd.