Next up on my oh-so-crabby week.  American Express.

I canceled my American Express card two months ago. TWO MONTHS!!!

A month after I canceled it, American Express put through a $5 charge and expected me to pay for it.

American’s Express’ description for the charge was “Thank you for the payment”.

Well, that’s helpful in identifying what the charge was for, don’t you think? 

Now, I know when you change credit cards, you are supposed to change all your auto-pay subscriptions.  And I do my best to comply.  However, I also know I will forget some and I expect those charges to be declined and then the vendor will e-mail me letting me know that they didn’t get their money, and then I can update the subscription with the new card info.

Make sense? Apparently, American Express disagrees.

The current charge was for my Yahoo Mail Plus account.  (Which I might add makes it really difficult to update anything regarding your account – but that’s another rant, another day.) 

First call (a month after cancellation), I told American Express to reverse the charge and I would deal with Yahoo directly.

La, la, la, I go on with my life.

And in my inbox pops up an American Express Statement for the $5.00!!!!!!!!!

So (now being my third call to American Express), I have lost all trace of my sunny disposition (and trust me, I only have a trace to begin with). 

I told the unfortunate person who took the call, the whole long story.  He wants to read me the American Express disclosure that they read when you cancel your card – which I’ve already heard twice, and if I hear it again, I’m going to be able to set it to music and sing it for auditions and family gatherings. 

I tell him, I do NOT want to hear the disclosure.  I tell him, the card was canceled well before this charge was put through by American Express.  He says, well, when you cancel your card, we recommend that you …

I tell him, you RECOMMEND I update my subscriptions, you do not REQUIRE me to.  Isn’t that right?

“Yes.”

And I missed one, with the expectation that American Express would decline it, and the vendor would contact me directly asking for their money.  Is my expectation unreasonable.

“No.  But if I can read you the disclosure …”

I am sending American Express a check.  And I am asking you IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I NEED TO DO SO THAT AMERICAN EXPRESS WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THIS CARD IS CANCELED AND CLOSED AND NO FURTHER TRANSACTIONS ARE AUTHORIZED?

“No.”

And I shit you not, then he suggested that I just smile and I’ll feel better.

Seriously.

I said goodbye and hung up, because he didn’t need to listen while my fucking head exploded.