Yesterday morning, maybe around 8:30 a.m., this really loud and annoying sound begins.  I’m still trying to sleep but not likely now. 5:00 p.m. and I’m still listening to it.

Now the sound of lawn mowers is pretty much a constant around here in the land of lawn-obsessed neighbors, but this is more – much, much more.  This is lawn mowers on steroids – or something.

WTF?

Turns out the sound was a company visiting a neighbor and emptying their septic tank.

Um.  Okay. Everybody poops.

I realize that we all have septic tanks in this neighborhood.  In fact, we have two.  (Don’t ask, I don’t know.)  I don’t know about our neighbors, but I religiously flush my monthly dose of Rid-X down the toilet. 

So the question is, WTF have they been eating across the way that it takes ALL FUCKING DAY to clean out their septic tank?  Just how big of a septic tank do they have?  Olympic pool size?  I mean, as far as I know, it is just the two of them living in that big-ass house (no judgment – we also are just two people living in a big-ass house). 

And how often do they have to do this?  Is this a 100 year event, that it would take all fucking day?

Somebody flushing feminine products? Diet consisting of 100% Taco Bell? Toilet trained pet dinosaur? Did they hide bodies down there? 

Inquiring minds want to know, but also kind of don’t.

PS– 8:30 a.m. this morning and sweet mother of God (TIDBI) it starts again!  PPS – 11:00 a.m. all is (finally) quiet, but a truck is still there, so we are still under imminent threat of more defecation-related otic abuse. And with my family, let me assure you, I am no stranger to defecation-related otic abuse.