I like to read the advice columns. 

Mostly I like to read them because I either get a kick out of the stupid stuff people write in about or I like to compare my thoughts on how to answer the various inquiries.

Today’s Dear Abby was mostly the first (which, of course, are the most fun).

The headline was “Punishment wrong for boy caught with porn.”

Well, that’s intriguing, to say the least.

Turns out a 9-year old boy was caught looking at his Dad’s “vintage” porn collection. 

(First, I’m thinking “vintage” my fat old lady ass – I’m guessing any non-digital porn could be considered “vintage”.  This is just his pre-marriage porn stash that he never threw out.)

And the punishment was to ground the kid for 3 hours and, instead of letting him go out and play, he had to spend the time looking at the aforementioned “vintage” porn collection.


First, if you don’t want your kid looking at your porn, why didn’t you put it somewhere the kid couldn’t get his hands on it?  Or, if this is actually “vintage” porn (and not just dad’s old stroke material) why would you leave it where it could be damaged? (You can bet people with vintage comic book collections keep their valuable comics out of reach of the kiddos.  Just saying.)

Second, if you make a big deal out of this and “punish” the kid, all you’re doing is creating more curiosity about porn – and possibly some very big misunderstandings about sexual relationships and how they work.  Of course, the alternative is to sit down and actually have a discussion with your child about sex and porn.  Yeah. Imagine that, talk to your kid.

Third, you “make” a 9-year old child look at porn (the column says for 3 hours) –

WTF are you thinking?

It’s both hilarious and horrifying. 

You just made your kid the most popular kid on the playground for the foreseeable future; and expect lots of calls from the school and parents of other kids regarding the newly gained expertise your child is now sharing with other kids. 

You also just made your 9-year old kid look at your porn collection. You can forget the college fund and just put that money aside for all the therapy he is going to need.

I have one other bitch about this matter.  The Aunt of the 9-year old excused the kid’s behavior because “boys are naturally curious”. 



Really?  REALLY?  Just, yikes.

This family has problems.

Abby has some commonsense thoughts, although I thought suggesting the parents consult with a child psychologist to learn how to deal with their son’s “budding sexual curiosity” was maybe a bit much.  Or not – I would think the child might need to see a psychologist because his parents wanted him to look at their porn collection for 3 hours.  Personally, I think the parents should have been urged to actually take responsibility for their own child and just sit down with him and have a conversation. 

Silly me.

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