If you guessed Kaiser – you got it in one!

Holy Gribaldi.

WTF is wrong with these people?

I know we are in the middle of pandemic, but we’re about 6 months in now.  You’d think they’d have gotten their shit together by now.

Okay.

What I learned –

You CANNOT get a face-to-face appointment with your doctor unless you first have a video or telephone conference.

The website makes it clear you cannot make an automatic (online or automatic scheduling on the phone) appointment.

The website implies you can get this kind of appointment by calling the appointment center.

You just have to talk with a human first.

Okie-dokie.

I can do that.

I call the appointment center and after being on hold an only mildly annoying amount of time, I find out, nope, you are not seeing your doctor until your doctor first talks to you through video or on the phone.

I explain that I am merely trying to set up an appointment so the doctor can take my blood pressure manually – as my doctor has already requested I come in and have my blood pressure checked, and I’m not letting them hook me up to that blood vessel busting machine of torture.

(ARGH.)

Nope.  Don’t care.  I have to talk with the doctor first.

Okay.  Let’s set up an appointment for that!

I even go online and do it – and I make a telephone appointment to speak with my doctor for 3:30 p.m. TODAY.

Okie-dokie.

3:30 p.m. comes.

3:30 p.m. goes.

4:00 p.m. comes

4:00 p.m. goes.

4:15 p.m., I send my doctor a WTF e-mail (only worded a bit more nicely); and call the appointment center, who confirms that I have the appointment and that it appears that my doctor has not tried to call me.

(ARGHHHHHH)

Appointment center says they’re going to check to see what is going on, puts me on hold and a few minutes later – son of a bitch my cell phone rings …

And it’s my doctor.  Full of excuses (or full of something anyhow).

She has already read my e-mails, and so she tells me that after we hang up, her assistant will call me to set up the appointment.

For reasons unknown, the doctor is not going to set up the appointment right then while I have her on the phone.

(ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

I hang up.  The assistant calls (wonder of wonders, miracles of miracles …)

She wants to make my appointment for 10:40 a.m.

My lab appointment is 9:10 a.m.

I ask her if she has anything earlier.

8:30 a.m.

Okay, I’ll take 8:30 a.m.

Then she tells me I may end up late for my lab appointment because my doctor usually comes in late.

WTSF?

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

I suggest to the nurse that she suggest to the doctor that she (the doctor) should come in on time tomorrow (and how about coming in on time every day – she’s a fucking grown-up with a fucking job; get your fucking ass into work on time – people are waiting on you!)

So I can’t wait to see what actually happens tomorrow.

Luckily for me, I have about 16 hours to get my blood pressure down from where it is right now.

(ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)