I drive a 2003 Toyota Corolla and I love that car. 

I can go from home to Chicago on one tank of gas. 

It has manual roll-down windows! That’s right. If I end up in the water, I want to be able to open my windows and get out and not be trapped because the electric windows shorted out.

But the best part is – it’s a stick shift!  Yup, I drive a manual.  And I also love that. If something blows in my engine, I want to know it’s my fault not some electronic doohickey that decided to go bad.

I never lock it.

It has a shitty radio and a CD player!  That’s right.  No satellite tunes for this fat old lady.  If I want to listen to it, I better own the CD.  And it is not in “mint” condition.  This is not a “classic”. Clearly, this car has lived a life and has some stories to tell.  Yet, every now and then, someone asks if I’d like to sell it, because they recognize a war horse of a car when they see one.

And, you know what?  Nobody is going to steal my car because nobody knows how to drive a stick anymore. 

There is one drawback however.

Nobody knows how to drive a stick anymore.

I took my sister Linda down to Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit.  Pulled into valet parking; and, only then, realized I should ask the young man opening my door – “Can you drive a stick?”  Much to my relief, he assured me it was no problem.

Yeah.  What a lying sack of shit he turned out to be.

I’m almost to the hospital entrance and I hear him yelling, “Hey lady, your car won’t start.”

Okay.  I turn around and ask, “Did you put the clutch in?”

“Which one is the clutch?”

Fuck. 

I go back to the car, and he tells me, it’s okay, they’ll figure it out.  I see an older employee getting into the car behind mine and suggest that maybe, my young guy and the older guy should maybe trade cars, because it is more likely the older guy can actually park my car without taking out my clutch. 

Do I know what happened?  Nope.  I walked away and when Linda was done with her appointment and x-rays, they had my car parked with the other valet parked cars.  And they brought it up to me with no problem.  Although, I noted the driver was not the same guy who was originally going to park my car.  And my clutch still worked fine. 

So hopefully, I have learned my lesson.  When someone is parking my car and they say they have no problem with a stick, I should wait until they prove it.