Did you know that septic tanks have “grinder pumps”.

(That’s something I really never ever wanted to think about – ever.)

Well.  They do.  And ours died. 

I don’t know what they do.  I (really, really, really) don’t want to know what they do.  All I know is if your grinder pump stops working, so do all your toilets and drains. 

We’re city folks from California.  We don’t know from septic systems.  All we knew was our toilets all seemed to be blocked up at the same time and our drains were taking their own sweet time about emptying their assigned areas (sinks, shower, etc.)

We tried everything.  Plunger action.  So much plunger action.  So much goo poured down toilets and down drains – followed by more plunger action.  Baking soda and vinegar – and more plunger actions. And … no joy.

So I finally called a plumber that my friend Cathy recommended (Tri-City folks – Dependable Sewer (and plumbing) are terrific!). 

They’ve heard of grinder pumps.  They found the problem right away; and the next day, they had a new pump for us. 

Only when they installed it – it didn’t work.

Well fuck. 

Turns out when our old pump gave up the ghost, it must have shorted out the electrical connection too.  Dependable loaned us a very long extension cord to run out to the new pump; and I got the assignment of getting an electrician out there.

No problem.  Except when I got home from water aerobics the next morning – the internet was out.  So how am I supposed to look up an electrician?  I open my phone up and the contacts is open to the electricians that maintain our Generac!  I mean, I know our phones and computers listen to us – but they can read minds?  Don’t care; not going to worry about it, I’m just happy I got somebody to call. 

And I did.  And they fixed it and now we can flush and shower with abandon and full confidence that the evidence all goes away.  I don’t want to think about where it goes, as long as it goes “away”.  Away works for me.

And since we had the electrician out, my husband got the guy to check and fix all the exterior outlets on the house.  We feel so fucking responsible and shit.